I haven’t talked about it much because I don’t want to jinx it.
As someone with chronic illness, I have to play it safe. Eat safe foods, constantly check and recheck my energy levels, take breaks. It is what it is. Sometimes though? I play it too safe. I miss out without cause. Of course my body COULD decide to go haywire, and it might. But living under the assumption that everything is going to fall apart at any moment? No thanks.
This year, I’ve been trying to say yes more. Yes to ziplining. Yes to family photos with a friend. Yes to cookouts, and swimming, and staying in an Airbnb. Yes to nursery at church, and yes to getting coffee when I should be going to bed. Yes to dance class with some other moms. Yes to stand up paddle-boarding and yes to rock climbing.
I’ve said yes to mud masks and manicures. I’ve said yes to cauliflower pizza crust and flourless chocolate cake. I’ve said “yes, let’s make plans” more times than I can count.
I’m not reckless. I still weigh each decision. This year, though? I’m adding in the emotional pros and cons along with the physical. I don’t want to gain the whole world of health at the expense of my soul.
One thing I didn’t expect about saying yes to more things was that it also requires me to say no more. No to mom-group events that aren’t accommodating. No to day trips and brunches and work socials. No to negativity. No to my brain.
I can’t say yes to everything. My body just won’t let me. So when I use my energy, I have to use it right.
My counselor has been encouraging me to try new things. She wants me to spend more time cultivating….well, me. I need to find my interests, my hobbies, my passions. Once I find them, I need to pursue them. That’s a pretty nice prescription, huh?
This year, I’m finally saying no. This year, I’m saying yes to me.